


A Song for the Stoned Girl in my Bed || WinterWidow

by argentscoyote



Category: Black Widow (Comics), Marvel, Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Winter Soldier (Comics)
Genre: F/M, winter widow - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-08
Updated: 2016-08-08
Packaged: 2018-08-07 09:52:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7710565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/argentscoyote/pseuds/argentscoyote
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which a music student is the live music for a ballet exam, and is whisked away on an unexpected adventure by a dancer with bright red hair.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Song for the Stoned Girl in my Bed || WinterWidow

Bucky felt his chest tighten as he walked into the studio. He was nervous. He should’ve been. This was the first time he was performing for something so important. It wasn’t the opera or for some big concert or benefit, but the RAD was one of the most recognized dance companies in the world, their syllabus was used all over. He, although not a dancer, had done some research on the company. They were one of the toughest companies when it came to classical ballet. And he was going to be their live piano for one of the exams for Advanced Ballet. So yeah, he felt a little bit nervous.

He paused at the door, feeling the stress and seriousness of the exam in the atmosphere. He felt out of place. He was a war kid in a room full of professional and aspiring dancers. He wrung his hands, the thought of bolting suddenly seeming so sweet. He shook his head, ridding himself of all negative thoughts, and approached the table of examiners. You need the college credit, Bucky told himself. Who knows, maybe playing piano for a classical ballet exam might be fun.

He doubted it.

When he reached the table, one of the examiners, a lady in her forties with rectangular classes smiled at him. “Hi,” Bucky said, reaching out his right hand to shake hers. “I’m James Barnes. The –“

“The piano player!” She responded delightfully, clapping her other hand over his. “I’m Ms. Fortier. I trust you know all the pieces?”

“Spent the last month studying them,” he confessed with a shy smile.

“Great! The exam will start in ten minutes. The piano is over there. Feel free to warm up.”

He looked to where she pointed, and nodded, smiling politely at her. Bucky walked over to the piano, almost in awe in the grandness of it. It was old, a beautiful classical one. He was a bit familiar with it as they had allowed him to practice here once, just so he could get a feel of the piano he would use. He sat down, running his hands along the wood before he pulled out his music sheets, checking the syllabus they had given him to make sure everything was in order and this exam would not get messed up because of him. He decided to run through at least one piece, to ease himself into it, and decided on the first and easiest: plie.

Before he knew it the door opened, and at least six girls, all about nineteen or twenty ran in and curtsied in front of the examiners. They were all dressed similarly, in black leotards and black wrap skirts, with ballet stockings and point shoes. One girl, however, with bright red hair pulled in a bun, grabbed James’ attention. She looked to be the eldest in the group and leaked grace and elegance as she stood by the bar, waiting for the exam to begin. Ms. Fortier looked towards Bucky and nodded, motioning for him to begin.

He took a deep breath as he faced the piano, his hands hovering over the keys. For college credit, he reminded himself. He lowered his hands and played.

The exam went on, and Bucky found it hard to stop. It seemed as though all anxiety simply drifted off as his fingers moved against the keys. The music flowed from him in such peace and ease, a second nature for him. Classical ballet wasn’t his go-to style, but he found comfort in the art. He lost himself in the music, just as he was sure the girls eventually lost themselves in their dancing. He played song after song, beautifully, perfectly, until he finally reached the last one, and it ended before he could even register how fast time had flown. He lifted his hands from the piano and turned his body as the girls curtsied one more time before exiting the room. A few looked ready to burst into tears, faint, or puke all over the floor. Some all of the above.

Bucky immediately started to gather his things. Ms. Fortier came over to thank him and assured him that he’d get his college credit. He thanked her, more than once, and left the room feeling allot better than when he entered.

He walked through the building thankful the exam was over and thought of his evening plans. He wanted to work on an assignment but knew he’d end up on the couch binge watching Supernatural.

By the time he reached the main foyer of the building, there was only one girl left. It was the eldest, the red head. She was in her splits on the floor, looking as casual as ever. Bucky felt his groin hurt just from looking at her. He must’ve winced aloud because soon her head whipped up, eyes darting around before finally landing on him. He blushed immediately, and hung his head, bee-lining for the door.

“Hey, you’re the piano player,” she acknowledged. He froze. He should’ve kept walking. But now it felt rude to leave, so Bucky stopped and turned towards her. She lifted herself up from her splits with ease, as if it was nothing.

“Bucky,” he said, extending his hand, because he didn’t know what else to do. Did she call him because she wanted to meet him? Or simply because she acknowledged that played the piano?

He relaxed when she laughed and took his hand. “Bucky? A little strange.”

“It’s a nickname,” he explained quickly. She unzipped her bag and pulled a pair of tights over her stockings, and zipped up a hoodie over her leotard. Once her combat boots were on, she stood up and smiled at him.

“Well, Bucky, I’d love to hear the story of that nickname. I’m Natalia, by the way,” she said. Natalia pulled her bag over her shoulders and made her way to the door. However, she stopped half way out and turned to look at him expectantly. “Are you coming?”

Bucky stood stunned and looked behind him to see there wasn’t anyone else in the lobby beside the receptionist. He rose an eyebrow and turned back to Natalia, who still patiently stood by the door. “What?”

“I just finished the last ballet exam that I’ll ever take. I want to celebrate, and you seem like good company,” Natalia explained. She pulled the bobby pins from her hair and released her hair from the hairnet, letting the red curls flow down her back. He wondered how her hair could look so pretty after the amount of effort it must’ve taken to get it in the bun, not to mention the sweat she no doubt worked up.

“You don’t even know me,” Bucky said. "I could be anyone." He adjusted his messenger bag, shifting on his feet.

“Are you a serial killer or anything else that could possibly harm me?" She asked. Bucky shook his head. "Neither am.” She smirked, pushing the door wider with her hip. “Now that we've established that - come on, Bucky. You seem like the type worth knowing. Come on, Bucky.”

******************

For the life of him, Bucky didn’t know why he followed her. He blamed her eyes. They were wide and grey, and he just wanted to stare at them all day. Natalia was a beautiful girl overall. Long red hair, big grey eyes, and the petite frame of a dancer’s body. It didn’t take much to understand why he felt a bit nervous around her. Natalia, on the other hand, acted as if she’d known him for years. She spoke without hesitation like they had been best friends for years, talking and asking all sorts of questions. She hadn’t told Bucky where they were going, what they were doing or even why she had roped in a perfect stranger instead of calling actual friends. Along the way, Bucky gave up on asking. Somewhere in the middle of their walking, Bucky decided to stop worrying and just go with the flow. Natalia had taken him on a random adventure that he was obviously not prepared for, but if he was going to follow this girl around he was going to make the most of it. She didn’t seem like a serial killer or the kind to pin him against the wall and have her way with him, so he felt in the clear of any attacks. And hey, at least he had an actual excuse not to do his assignment.

The building the exams had been held in was in the heart of the city, and after walking for a while they were nearing the edge of it. Bucky knew the area fairly well, going to a university and living close by. Natalia seemed to know it like the back of her hand. She took turns without even telling him, and Bucky often found himself walking straight ahead when she had already gone right or left.

“So,” Natalia said with humour in her voice as they walked. “Your dream is to play piano for ballet exams?”

Bucky shook his head, grinning. Her ease had begun to rub off on him. It was like she was infectious, and within twenty minutes of being with her, he needed to call the doctor. “No,” he said. “I don’t know what my dream is, I just know I want it to involve music.”

“I can admire that,” she said.

“What about you?” He asked. “Always wanted to dance?”

“Pretty much,” she nodded. “All I’ve wanted to do since I was ten. My grandma was a dancer, so you can guess where I got the dream from.”

“Did she make it pro?”

“No, she never danced on the big stage. She became a teacher. Actually taught me the majority of what I know,” Natalia said. The walked past a spot where you could see the harbour through the space between two buildings, and Natalia stopped for a moment to take it in.

“Sounds like you’re close,” he noted.

Natalia nodded and smiled at the ground. He noticed she had a bit of a dimple in her right cheek. “Extremely. She calls me almost every day.”

Bucky paused a moment, allowing enough time to pass before changing the subject. “You did really well, by the way.” He watched their feet move.

Her smile turned into a smirk, and Natalia twisted her head to look at him. “You’re back was facing us the entire exam.”

He shrugged, and laughed. “Yeah, but I doubt I need to actually watch you dance to know you did well.”

She didn’t say anything, just looked down to hide her smile.

They must’ve been getting close to their destination. At least, Bucky hoped so. He had dressed for a ballet exam, not a random adventure in the city. He had his best dress shoes and slacks, a black button up, with a black suit jacket over it. He felt overdressed compared to her. As they had walked the sun had begun to set, as well as the temperature. Natalia had a beanie on her head now, a white one that contrasted with her hair. Bucky wished for a moment he had been smart and packet as least a change of shirt or a hoodie of his own.

“In here,” Natalia said as she suddenly turned into a building. It was for some business he didn’t even know existed and looked like they had closed for the day. “I know the night manager, so we’re not breaking and entering.” And true to her word, as they entered the lobby the night guard beamed brightly at her. “Natty! You’re here so I take it you had an exam?”

“Sure did, Phil,” she told him.

“Crushed it?”

“Pretty sure I did.”

“That’s my girl! Don’t do anything stupid up there.” He looked at Bucky when he said the last part.

Bucky’s eyes widened as he rushed after Natalia who was already by the elevators. “Do anything stupid? What are we doing?”

She smirked. “Something stupid.”

Bucky visibly gulped as the entered the elevator. Natalia laughed heartily, clapping her hands like it was the funniest thing ever. Bucky scolded her for it.

The building was fifty-five floors, and Natalia decided to go all the way to the roof. When he saw her press the button he felt his stomach knot at the very thought of being so high, and the higher and higher the elevator rode, the worse the feeling got. She didn’t notice the pale colour his face had taken since he was leaning on the wall behind her. She practically skipped out the elevator when it finally reached their destination. They had to walk up a few steps, Bucky holding onto the railing as they did, and through a door before finally getting to the roof. Natalia burst through the door, skipping and twirling with her arms wide open. She was laughing. The sound made him feel slightly less nervous about being so high.

She was in the middle of a twirl when she suddenly stopped, and she was in front of him in the blink of an eye. The distress was evident on his face, blue eyes worried. He clung to his stomach like he might throw up. “What’s wrong?” She asked. “You look like you might faint.”

“It’s just,” Bucky breathed. He stood by the door and leaned forward to place his hands on his knees, taking in deep breaths. “It’s pretty high.”

“Oh,” Natalia said. She put a hand on his shoulder. “Are you okay? Do you want to go somewhere else?”

He shook his head and waved his hand, hanging his head. “No, no. This happens to allot. One of my classes is literally on the top floor of my college. I just need a moment.”

“Alright, but let me know if we should go, okay?” She posed it as a question, but he knew she meant it more a statement. Natalia was all charge, the born leader type. She had whipped him into this weird adventure and he had followed blindly. But she cared if he was about to shat his pants or not, and that made him feel better about following a girl he had just met.

After a few moments of breathing and getting used to it, Bucky stood up straight. “I’m alright.”

“Sure?” She looked concerned.

“Natalia, I’m fine,” he assured her.

“Would you be okay going towards the ledge?”

“Should be fine. If not, I’ll just move.”

She broke into a smile and was back to her happy forward self. Natalia wrapped an arm around Bucky’s waist since she was too short to reach his shoulders properly, and directed him towards the edge of the building. He didn’t feel like he was about to throw up, which was a plus. “Alrighty, then, Bucky. Welcome to Natalia Romanova’s post-ballet exam tradition!”

“Tradition?” He asked. “You do this after every exam?”

“Since I was fifteen.” She nodded. “I think you’ll like it. It’ll help get rid of some of those nerves you got.”

They approached the edge of the building. Bucky wasn’t stupid enough to look down. Natalia, however, was stupid enough to sit on the ledge.

“What the hell are you doing?!” He shouted at her, his arms darting out to support her.

She waved him off. “I’ll be fine. “

“Natalia –“

“James, I trust you to catch me if I fall.”

And that was enough to shut him up. The sentence triggered something in him and she didn’t even know it. He stepped back and shook his head, careful to make sure she didn’t notice, before standing next to her. She might’ve been daring enough to do it, but there was no way in hell he would sit on the ledge. He leaned on it instead, careful not to look down, and took in the view.

The very air inside him left. It was so breathtakingly beautiful he wondered how he hadn’t noticed it before. The sun was setting, causing an array of yellows, reds, oranges and blues across the broad sky. Stars shone where the sun left abandoned. They were on one of the highest buildings, the rest all silhouettes in this lightning. He could see so far ahead, could see the point in the horizon where it seemed everything met. It was beyond words.

“It’s amazing,” Natalia breathed. “No matter how many times I come up here, it’s always like the first.”

“This is just,” he said in awe. “This is just beautiful.”

“It’s calming. That’s why I come up here after every exam. After months of stress and practice and training, I can finally just… be.” She turned to face him. The way the light caught her eyes made the grey look fierce, almost on fire. “So, Buck. Are you going to tell me why you’re scared of heights?” He looked at her, eyebrow raised. Natalia shrugged. “Everyone’s gotten their fear from something. Where’d you get yours?”

Bucky debated on whether he should tell her or not. The thing that replaced his left arm had made him a freak ever since he’d gotten back. If he didn’t cover it, people would stare and whisper. Even some of the college kids found him weird because of it, although allot of them thought it was just really cool, and in the words of the science geeks “a beautiful work of science and technology.”

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” she said quickly.

Bucky spared her one more glance and made a hasty decision. He pushed back on the ledge and drew his bag off him. He took in a breath, hyping himself up to reveal the thing that represented the worst of his scars. He was trusting her, more than she knew. Bucky didn’t say anything as Natalia watched as he removed his gloves. A metal clink was heard as he did so, and a silver hand appeared where his left one should’ve. He shrugged off his jacket, and unbuttoned his shirt, removing just the left sleeve so she could see the arm.

Natalia stared, shocked, intrigued, and all of the above. A metal arm. He had a freaking metal arm. It was perfectly shaped to his other arm, the exact same bumps and dips of his flesh bicep. It was huge and powerful, and Natalia could hear the hum of the gears and technology working within it. The arm shone against the lowering sun, metal gleaming. There was a distinct area marked by scars and stitches on his chest where flesh met metal, and she doubted he had much feeling in that area. Without realizing what she was doing, Natalia reached out and stroked the arm with her fingers. It vibrated beneath her touch. It was warm.

Bucky watched as her fingers skimmed over the red star painted on his bicep. She looked up at him with curiosity. “Why a star?”

“They felt bad that I’d never be able to tattoo my left arm, and since it’s already a miracle prosthetic they figured “Why not paint a fucking red star on it?” so they did. It looks like I’m part of the freakin Soviet or something,” he joked.

“Can I ask what happened?” She asked as she withdrew her hand. He buttoned his shirt up again but left the jacket off. He ran a hand through his hair, the style he had constructed earlier now a total mess, as he blew out through his lips.

“I fell off a train,” he told her. When her eyes grew wide he smiled sheepishly. “I was in the army, a special division. My best friend, Steve, and I were on a mission to disarm this train that was packed full of all kinds of weapons. Something went wrong, the side of the train got blown open, and I got caught in the crossfire,” Bucky said. “They found me a few hours later not too far from where I fell. My entire left arm had gotten blown off. I can’t remember much else. Most of what I know are the things they told me,” he looked at her and smiled shyly, rubbing the back of his neck with his right hand. “They had been working on technology to aid soldiers who’d lost limbs during wars, and I was the perfect candidate for their first try. The metal arm was supposed to give me strength and all that nonsense. An extra push. Make me stronger. Make me intimidating to the other side. And it did until I decided to leave.”

“How old were you?” She asked softly.

“Nineteen. That was three years ago.”

“Woah,” she breathed. “That’s hectic.”

“You don’t know the half of it,” he joked. He felt relieved she hadn’t completely freaked out about the arm like most people did. Having a prosthetic limb was one thing, but having a robotic arm was another. Bucky shook his head. “Enough about my depressing arm. Tell me about this tradition, Natalia. What stupid act do you plan on committing?”

Natalia smiled at him brightly. It was a devious smile, closer to a smirk than anything. She reached for her bag and pulled out a plastic bag that contained two pills. Bucky recognized it immediately and stepped backwards. “No,” he said. “No. Really, Natalia? Fucking ecstasy?”

“I told you I came up here to relax,” she deadpanned. “Excuse me if staring at the fucking sky all night doesn’t quite do it for me.” She put the plastic bag in her lap and motioned for him to come closer. When he stayed put, she sighed. “You don’t have to do it with me, Bucky. I understand if you don’t want to, if you disapprove. I just,” she looked down. “For once I don’t want to be alone in my celebration.”

Suddenly it clicked. Natalia had invited a complete and perfect stranger to join because she didn’t have any friends to call. There were no options for her, no one she could share this with. He was her only friend. The piano player from her ballet exam was her only choice of company. He felt for her. He was a freak with a robot for an arm, but even he had Steve and Sam. She had no one. He walked closer and leaned on the ledge. “I hate this,” he told her. “But you’re gonna do it anyway, so there’s no way I’m leaving you on top of a fifty-five storey building stoned.”

She smiled at him again, grateful he wasn’t leaving and opened the bag. Bucky, holding his breath for a moment too long, dreaded what would come next.

*********************

“Bucky’s such a weird name,” she giggled. She had giggled endlessly over the last few hours. Natalia had taken only one pill, but she was on a whole other trip. He didn’t know too much about ecstasy, or drugs altogether, but he knew they were bad. He also knew Natalia wouldn’t be coming down from Cloud 9 anytime soon, and until she was plagued with reality again he had to look out for her and make sure she didn’t throw herself off the freaking building. “Try saying it fast five times: Buckybuckybuckybuckybucky.”

She leaned against his shoulder as she laughed, and he acted quickly to steady her so she wouldn’t fall. She was going to give him a heart attack soon. He was surprised she hadn’t already. She was one the edge of the roof of one of the tallest buildings in the city, and she was swaying like she was on a swing. “Natalia, if you don’t stop moving I swear to God.”

“Oooh!” She pushed her index finger against his lip, ignoring how dangerously close she was to the edge. “You shouldn’t swear to God. It’s against the Bible.” She burst out laughing.

“Yeah, okay,” Bucky rolled his eyes. He kept his hands on her shoulders, prepared to catch her should the worse happen.

“Why Bucky?” She asked. For the past hour, she had switch subjects on how weird his name was and all the other random crap that flowed through her brain. The majority of it was amusing. Honestly, Bucky could’ve died of laughter just from watching her, but the humour always subsided when Natalia leaned too far forward or he felt her slip in his grip.

“I told you it’s a nickname,” he said.

“But for what?” She whined.

“For James Buchanan Barnes.”

Natalia stared at him blankly for a moment before her face began to act up and she had to stifle her giggles. “Are you named after President James Buchanan?”

“Yeah?”

She giggled harder. She had her fist to her mouth as she leaned towards him like she was revealing some big secret. “Wasn’t he… Wasn’t he known for being gay?” The reaction on his face caused Natalia to lose it. She threw her head back, laughing, causing Bucky to lose his grip on her. In a panic, he put his hands under her armpits and lifted her with such ease it was as if she weighed nothing, and set her on the ground in front of him behind the ledge. She woo-ed with the lift but pouted her lip when she was down.

“I may be named after a gay President, but I assure you, Natalia Romanova, Bucky Barnes is most definitely not gay,” he told her sternly. Natalia laughed, falling into his chest. She laughed so hard her stomach hurt.

“What’s with guys and being so defensive of their sexuality?” she said. “There’d be nothing wrong with you being gay, James.”

“First of all, there would be nothing if I was gay. And nothing is wrong because I’m not gay. Second of all, it’s Bucky.”

Natasha wrinkled her nose, smacking his chest. “No, I like James better.” Bucky rolled his eyes and surrendered to defeat. Natalia pumped her fists in the air, breaking out of his hold. “Yes! Yes! I am victorious! I have won the right to calling you James!”

Bucky rolled his eyes and leaned down to pick up both his and Natalia’s bags. “Alright there, King Arthur,” he laughed. “Time to go.”

She lowered her arms immediately and gaped at him. “What? No.”

“You’re high as shit, Natalia, and it’s late. We’re going home.” His was stern, full of authority. For a moment, whatever sane part of Natalia had some control wondered if that’s what he sounded like in the army.

Natalia pulled her face. “Little problem,” her voice went a little higher. “I can’t go home.”

“Why not?”

“I have a roommate and she tends to spend her nights with company and would rather not be disturbed.”

“Ahh,” Bucky said, hanging his head. The classic sock on the door. He knew it all too well from when he and Steve had been roommates. He had no other choice. “I guess we’re going to mine.”

*************

There were no buses or trains during this time, and Bucky couldn’t afford a cab, so they were stuck walking. As they walked Bucky questioned why he thought it was a good idea to bring her to his apartment. She was a stranger he had met a few hours ago. But he couldn’t bring himself to just leave her out in the city in the middle of the night, especially after finding out her only option for not celebrating alone was dragging a complete stranger into her plans. He didn’t know where her parents or grandparents lived, but even if they were nearby he doubted Natalia would want them to see her like this.

“Sorry it’s so far,” Bucky apologised again. “I can’t exactly afford a place in the city.” He felt nervous again. He hadn’t brought a girl home since the incident with his arm. It wasn’t because he wasn’t interested, it was just because he was too busy trying to forget what happened in the military. All the death, all the fear, all the sorrow. Losing his arm wasn’t the only traumatizing thing that happened to him during his tour. It was just better to deal with it all alone.

And yet here he was, bringing a girl a home.

“That’s fine, James Buchanan,” she said, waving him off a bit too dramatically. “Although I do have to ask: where exactly do you live?”

“Not much further,” he explained. “I live just outside the city.”

Bucky had given Natalia his jacket after he noticed her shivering. She shifted it now, wrapping it tighter around her body and stuffing her hands in the pockets. “Woah,” she said in wonder. “They’re huge.” She stared with wide eyes as she lifted her hands in and out of the pockets. She reached out and grabbed a hold of his hand, causing Bucky’s breathing to a hitch a little. She didn’t notice. “your hands are huge,” she commented as she inspected it. She placed her palm against his, comparing the size. He noticed that she was right. His hand was a lot bigger than hers. When she started giggling again, he quickly snatched her hand and intertwined their fingers, pulling her along.

“If you wanted to hold my hand all you had to do was ask, James,” Natalia giggled. A blush crept up his neck and to his cheeks. He smiled sheepishly. “Aww! You’re so cute!”

He laughed. “You’re so hammered right now.”

She looked confused. “Does… Does that mean you want me to do the hammer dance?”

He laughed harder. “Lord, no. It means you’re smashed.”

Natalia shook her head furiously, swinging their hands. “Nope. I believe you are the smashing one, James.” She winked at him.

God, she was such a flirt.

Natalia went on and on as they walked, and all he could do was listen. Listen to the sound of her voice, even if all the things she was saying complete and utter rubbish. Her voice was like velvet. And her eyes. A few hours spent with this girl and he still couldn’t get over how beautiful her eyes were. Which was weird, because that’s usually what people said about him. His eyes were a deep blue, but hers were a clear grey, wide and curious. A cloudy sky. He was getting so into it, so into her that he almost missed a few turns. She laughed whenever he had to remind himself which way was home. He liked the sound. He didn’t let go of her hand the entire way, and she didn’t make any moves to.

He noticed she got quieter and quieter the more they left the city behind them. When they were finally outside the city and nearing his apartment she spoke up. “James?”

“Yeah, Natalia?”

“How much further?” Her voice was tired. When he looked over she was rubbing her eyes with the hand that wasn’t in his. Immediately he felt bad.

“Two more blocks. I’m so sorry, Nat,” he apologised.

“It’s fine, really,” she yawned. “I was just wondering…”

“What?”

“Could you give me a piggyback ride?”

Bucky quirked an eyebrow. “You want me to give you a piggyback ride?”

“If not it’s cool,” she said calmly.

He laughed and shook his head. He let go of his hand and stepped in front of her, crouching down. “Hop on.”

She squealed excitedly as she got on his back. She took the bags from him and put the straps around her shoulders. Once she was secured he stood to his full height, where Natalia leaned forward and kissed his cheek. He blushed again. “Thank you, James.”

He felt her head lean against his shoulder, and he smiled to himself. “You’re very welcome, Natalia.”

He worried she had fallen asleep by the time he finally reached his apartment door. He gently shook her thigh to rouse her. “Natalia, I have to put you down to get my keys and unlock the door.”

“Do what you gotta,” she mumbled.

She leaned against the door as he took his bag from her, fumbling with the keys and unlocking the door. He let her go through first, closing the door behind them. Natalia rubbed her eyes and blinked multiple times before clearing her vision enough to take in Bucky’s apartment. It was small, consisting of a kitchen and lounge that flowed into one, a door that led to what she assumed to be the bathroom, and another the bedroom. Another door led to the fire escape outside one of the lounge’s window.

“Nice place,” she told him. It was simple but felt like a home. He wasn’t a complete slob, so there was that too.

“Thanks,” he said, putting both of their bags down near the door. “Uh, I don’t know if you wanna shower or –“

“Honestly, all I wanna do right now is crash,” she said, turning towards him, smiling with her eyes closed.

“Bedroom’s this way.” He panicked. “For you to sleep. I’ll take the couch. I don’t expect anything –“

“It’s fine, James,” she said. “I’m too tired for anything to happen anyway.”

He nodded, and led the way to his bedroom, wanting to leave the embarrassment of even suggesting he had been thinking about not expecting to have sex with her. He switched on the light, and as soon as Natalia entered the room she collapsed face first onto the bed. He laughed and walked over. He grabbed her hands and walked backwards, pulling her to sit up. “You can borrow a shirt of mine to sleep in if you want.”

She didn’t say anything, just mumbled something that sounded like “Yes, please.”

He found an old shirt, a white one that was one of the biggest t-shirts he owned and threw it to her. Once he was sure she was capable of dressing herself, Bucky went into the kitchen where he got a glass of water and some Panadol. She’d need it when she woke up. When he walked back to the room, he knocked on the door before entering. He paused at the doorway, taking the sight of her in his t-shirt. She was standing in the middle of the room, kicking off her tights and throwing it to the side with her other forgotten clothing. The shirt fell mid-thigh, and swallowed her small frame, hanging on her in a huge baggy way that for some reason made her look all the smaller. He swallowed as he walked in, shaking himself out of the trans.

“I’ve got some stuff to help when you wake up,” he said, setting it down on the bedside table.

She smiled at him. “Thanks, James. For everything.” She sounded sincere like she was slowly becoming herself again. Bucky took she was coming down from her high a bit. He returned the smile.

“Well, if that’s all. Good night, Natalia.” He bid her farewell. He was halfway out the door when she stopped him.

“James.”

He turned around. “Yes?”

“Can you stay with me?”

She was serious, all expression in her face and posture told him so. Bucky swallowed. He had not expected this. “Okay.”

Natalia smiled lazily and turned around as he stripped himself. He put on a pair of sweatpants and then crawled into the bed where she was already waiting for him. She crept closer to him, and he lifted his arm so her head could rest on his chest before wrapping it around her shoulder.

He felt his heart quicken because she was close. He definitely hadn't expected this. They were in the same bed together after having just met that same day, but he couldn’t bring himself to regret it. How could he? The girl was literal art.

He sensed how tired she was, and leaned over to switch off the lamp. She nestled closer to him when he laid back down.

“Hey, James?”

“Hmm?”

“I like your arm.”

He smiled. Smiled so widely and brightly his cheeks started to hurt. His arm was his biggest insecurity, and within a few hours of knowing him, she accepted it. Heck, she liked it. He pulled her closer. She didn’t say anything after that, and neither did he. He could tell she was falling asleep by the way her fingers movement got lazy as she played with his dog tags, but he himself wasn’t as tired. The night had been one big adventure, and he wanted to continue living in it. Eventually, long after she had already dozed off, he fell asleep playing with her hair.

****************

When Natalia’s eyes finally opened, she looked to see James was already awake, watching her. “You know,” she mumbled through her haze. She closed her eyes again and laid her head on his chest. “Some people consider it stalker-ish to watch someone sleep.”

He laughed. She felt the vibrations in his chest. He was laying beneath her, almost her entire body on his stomach with her head on his chest. His arms were secured around her waist, his metal hand playing with her hair as she closed her eyes. “Good morning, Natalia.” His morning voice was raspy and deep. Good God. “How you feeling?”

She groaned, scrunching her eyes and burying her face in his chest. “Don’t ask me that.” She felt like she been hit by a truck at least ten times.

Natalia felt him chuckle again. James tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. “Do you need anything?”

“All I need right now is to stay here.”

“Do you want me to stay too?”

“Yes.”

So they stayed in bed for hours. James didn’t bother keeping track of the time. He watched her as she slept on top of him, drawing circles on his shirt that she adorned. As the morning drew on, and more light escaped the closed curtains he noticed how rosy her cheeks were, and how soft her face was. Not exactly innocent, but not the total opposite either. It wasn’t the first time he noticed how beautiful she was, nor did he doubt it’d be the last, but it was like he was realizing it all over again. He wondered, then, how damn lucky he was to have gotten the oppertunity to be the live music for the exam that just so happened to be her last.

They remained like that for the majority of the day, in each other’s embrace. Natalia sleeping, James staring, forgetting all responsibilities and duties. No stress nor worry. Just being.

She finally woke up around what James assumed to be noon. She groaned and complained as she rolled off of him, cursing her throbbing head. He got up and offered to wash her clothes while she showered. Natalia thanked him, and he left her to take the pills and wash up.

He heard the shower running a little later when he was making breakfast. Nothing too fancy since he didn’t have much in his fridge. He put on a pot of coffee. James was in the middle of buttering the toast when Natalia emerged from the bathroom, still in his t-shirt since her clothes weren’t finished in the washing machine. Her hair was wet and lazily pulled into a bun. She graciously accepted the cup of coffee as she sat down on one of his bar stool, watching from the other side as he prepared breakfast.

“You know, this strangely feels like the morning after sex, which is weird since we never actually had sex,” Natalia said. He almost choked from his shock at how blunt she was. “Relax,” she laughed. “I appreciate this, really, James. I’m sorry you had to deal with all that,” she apologised, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

“Its fine, Natalia,” he said. He placed a plate of eggs and toast in front of her, in which she immediately started digging in. He walked around and sat next to her. “Although, I do have to say I’m not willing to deal with it again the next time we hang out.”

Natalia quirked an eyebrow and didn’t bother hiding her smirk. “Next time? You think I want to see you again, James?”

“Oh, I know you do,” he said, cutting a piece of toast and sticking it in his mouth. He looked at her as he chewed, and pointed his fork at her. “I did not go through all that just to not see you again.”

She took a sip of her coffee, her smirk growing. “Alright, then. I can accept that.” She put the cup down and put some egg in her mouth. “So what do you suppose happens next time?”

“Well, I’ve thought about it allot,” James said in the middle of chewing.

“Oh?” She laughed.

“Yeah,” he nodded. “And I’ve thought of a way that makes us both happy.”

“And what’s that?”

“You said that yesterday was your last ballet exam, correct?” He confirmed.

Natalia nodded. “Correct.”

“But I’m assuming – and this is just me spitballing here – but I’m assuming that you’re gonna go on and do some great things, Natalia. Some great things that require celebrating.”

“Is that so?” She smiled. She couldn’t help it. She propped her elbow on the counter and leaned her head against her fist, staring at him. He looked so gorgeous, with short messy brown hair and deep blue eyes, the jaw strong and sharp.

“And since I’m officially your celebratory partner, I’m going to have to be at every single one of these celebrations,” James explained.

“It’d be a shame if you weren’t.”

“So how’s about this?” James put the knife and fork down and twisted his chair so he was facing Natalia. “We celebrate, just how we did last night by going to the rooftop. We do whatever, talk, play music, freaking dance if we want to. Whatever the hell your heart desires. Only from now on no drugs. I’m you’re new ecstasy, Natalia. So, what do you think?” James waited for her response. It might’ve been a long shot, after all, he was changing her tradition. But he liked her, and he wasn’t ready to let her slip through his fingers.

Natalia put her index finger to her chin and looked upwards, thinking. “Hmm,” she hummed, looking at him. “You plead a big case, James. But I suppose I’m open to it.”

He broke into a smile then, but Natalia was quick to grab his attention by reaching out and grabbing a hold of his metal arm. “Only if,” she said. She smiled brightly, leaning towards him. “You finally kiss me.”

Bucky grinned and wasted no time in grabbing her face and kissing the goddamn life out of her. All doubt he had yesterday flew away as their lips moved together. She was no longer a stranger who had whipped him into her crazy plans. She was Natalia Romanova. Extraordinaire. Beautiful. Funny. And everything he couldn’t wait to get to know more.

True to his word, year after year, anytime Natalia, whether it be her own accomplishments or his, wanted to celebrate James would take her out. And they would spend the night together, on the rooftop doing whatever they wanted to do. Natalia didn’t touch drugs ever again. After that night with him, she never felt like she needed too. She had found something better. For the first time in her life, she had something real because of a pianist named James Buchanan Barnes.


End file.
